After my father dies I stop lying to myself
and go to the doctor about my kidneys
or at least I plan to go but get side-tracked
Approaching trains whiz by. I realize I’ve been saved
once again by the forces of you lucky mother f*cker
Weeks later I no-show a visit to the urine tester
unsure that all the creatine’s out of my system yet
sure that destiny has a plan that ignores any of mine
and anything I might do just puts off the inevitable
I’m not prepped for my exit – the lights’re too bright
Besides the ever changing bodies, their short flowers
the way the music fades in and out as the images blur
I’m dancing inside myself – you glance a shoulder
at arm’s length melding into an immoral crowd
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