For Many, I Suppose

 

 

As I age and come to terms with things I probably won’t do again or even get to do (like having sex or sky diving), I realize among them is the probability that I may not see you again. It’s been a long time, and I don’t even know where you now are. We had our times together. We lost touch. I guess, as some would say, hey, that’s life.

 

Well, I’m not going to spend the rest of the day listening to singer/ songwriters complain about what they notice going or not going on. I seem to manage that okay on my own.

 

In the past months a few of the recent manuscripts have been cleaned up and formatted and printed and saved in files I can attach to online submissions. The last three years summed up in poems, essays, and stories… Now, let’s see who might help them become published. Beggar and persuader – the dual positions an artist must assume. Yet the work stands or falls on its own.

 

But I didn’t push for much of that – what happened, happened. There wasn’t a lot of planning. Life led me along – as it does for many of us. We’re lovers and then we’re no longer lovers. Rarely seemed to manage those transitions very well.

 

Anyway, I’m still in the same place – I’m visible. I’m not in the phone book but I am on the Internet. Google me. Come for a visit.

Writing to Silence

 

That yearning to do something big, new…something that’d catch the attention of people all around the world, comes and goes several times this past afternoon as a few gusts of wind, a breeze mostly, spin the garden pinwheels in ways that remind me of that spring I got to sit five or six days in a row watching a few trees blossom, sitting almost in zazen thinking that perhaps my time as a journey man was over and before I could weigh the worth of that realization it was let those thoughts go and away they went leaving me watching leaves unfold blossoms in a fast forward turned down real slow with my breath exhaling small puffs of grayish-white clouds. It was then that I beheld that God is not a person – no relation at all to my species, surely something other than one of us to have gained such god status – or so I thought for dozens of years.

Now I see that I’m not hungry enough, not obsessed enough, not angry enough…and certainly not competitive at all. These are traits necessary to my once upon a time career. No wonder the paycheck was so small and infrequent.

I quit that job yeas ago. When you can do what you want, it can take some time to figure out what it is you want to do… And that time is pleasant. Enjoy it! But don’t forget to find out what you want to do.

Of course you better figure such a path would also be edgy. Yep. Try to enjoy the process as best as your family and friends will let you. And if you are an orphan, friendless in this world, you might want to read some Charles Dickens rather than this. I understand. The miscommunication is nobody’s fault – neither yours nor mine.

Communicate! Say something! I’m listening.

 

Inquiry

Should mind go before body goes

What’s lost anyway – a chance

for higher consciousness?

 

Such pride, a mere firefly!

The immeasurable eludes us.

Once that is understood –

 

another night appears & if

it’s early July, we may yet enjoy

those neon-green blinking lights

 

as more than advertisements

for stars mating over a meadow

or a childhood come and gone

 

Laser tag among preteens

giggling with new found pleasures

Insects looking to get lucky

 

Ascending & falling back again

like Rilke drunk & forgetting

that he did this more than once

 

It’s still hard to let the mind go

There is no mind to let go –

it flits about like the fireflies do

As Within, So Without

Rain comes down so hard & heavy

it couldn’t get off our near flat roof

fast enough

 

Some slight sum of water ran the line

of a rafter to drip, drip right above my head

& woke me before I could get back to sleep

with an unprecedented six inches an hour

 

Something else on a long list to worry about

The roofing guy comes on time & ladders

his uniformed self up on the roof to take a look

— That’s after he offers to redo the roof

for at least five, six thousand

We go with

the repairs that carry no guarantee

for a few hundred plus change

 

We may never again get such hard & heavy rain

But the way things’re going it’d be no surprise

if the highway became a series of small islands

 

Should our roads soon turn to canals, time then

to pole rafts & barges as means of commerce

& access to community services

 

Preparing for the future demands new mindsets

Our philosophers fade away in solitary classrooms

or small but well equipped offices tucked away

in government-funded law firms

or private bathrooms en suite

in corporate headquarters

with direct ancestral connections to people

who make things happen!

 

Democracy as practiced, at best, a charade

one might begin to suppose

Yes

The rains begin again and there is no normal

to return to, so those who dare sit & wait

for the floods to subside in hopes that some soil

will remain arable & that insects can be toasted

for proper & sufficient nourishment –

they can do as they wish. What will be will be

 

In the meantime, free people continue to entice

Stoical Vortexism

On the second day of summer beneath a full blue sky

I lie down on the clover spewed grass and see the sun

Blaring through a tall, many limbed tree. This ground

If not this spot can hold all that I’ll become body-wise

This moment is beautiful and more than enough

For a few minutes then I am, as before, wanting more

 

Laments and celebrations along with quick twists

Nicely turned phrases, and some fun in between

Bounce a shared time that even the guest guitarist

Nods and smiles in response to…

The shade holds

And breezes off the harbor keep things cool while

The grassy lawn, damp and somewhat cold

Says soon but not yet as I feel the ground inhale

I push myself to sit up and start the stretch home

Isolation/Solitude

I send out invites but I hear back from next to no one.

A couple of friends reply – calendar’s full, keep at it!

A few say they might show if nothing else is happening

The rest are either dead or don’t care anymore

 

The background drone of leaf blowers warns

suburbanites of impending doom – So?

 

All the lovely young bodies once lusted after

evolve into house parents too busy for fun

 

Some friends are collectors of knives, hats, and pens

Others save photographs, file memories like faxes

 

Soon we’ll be down to two seasons: Winter and Fall

Climate Change is man-made, and man’s made

this mistake millennium ago

Over and over – what is and what is not…

the mistakes we humans make

As long as there be eggs and sperm! scientists say

 

An absolutely rare treat having this time alone,

all by myself – all to myself