That yearning to do something big, new…something that’d catch the attention of people all around the world, comes and goes several times this past afternoon as a few gusts of wind, a breeze mostly, spin the garden pinwheels in ways that remind me of that spring I got to sit five or six days in a row watching a few trees blossom, sitting almost in zazen thinking that perhaps my time as a journey man was over and before I could weigh the worth of that realization it was let those thoughts go and away they went leaving me watching leaves unfold blossoms in a fast forward turned down real slow with my breath exhaling small puffs of grayish-white clouds. It was then that I beheld that God is not a person – no relation at all to my species, surely something other than one of us to have gained such god status – or so I thought for dozens of years.
Now I see that I’m not hungry enough, not obsessed enough, not angry enough…and certainly not competitive at all. These are traits necessary to my once upon a time career. No wonder the paycheck was so small and infrequent.
I quit that job yeas ago. When you can do what you want, it can take some time to figure out what it is you want to do… And that time is pleasant. Enjoy it! But don’t forget to find out what you want to do.
Of course you better figure such a path would also be edgy. Yep. Try to enjoy the process as best as your family and friends will let you. And if you are an orphan, friendless in this world, you might want to read some Charles Dickens rather than this. I understand. The miscommunication is nobody’s fault – neither yours nor mine.
Communicate! Say something! I’m listening.